The Watchman's Diary

Behold, these are the ungodly, who are always at ease; they increase in riches. Surely I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocence.  For all day long I have been plagued, and chastened every morning. If I had said, “I will speak thus,” Behold, I would have been untrue to the generation of Your children. When I thought how to understand this, it was too painful for me—Until I went into the sanctuary of God; Then I understood their end (Psalm 73:12-17, NKJV).

I am sure I am not the only one who feels beaten down and ran over from time-to-time. As if we will never really understand our purpose, or if there is even one. I go through seasons where everything seems so clear then out of no where a dense fog rolls in and then I feel lost.

I look around and everyone seems to have it together. They seem so sure and content with the way life if progressing and their smiles tell a story I may not understand. Their speech reveals the longing my heart feels for such clarity and assurance. Comfort seems to be a fugitive in my world; running and hiding from me to take refuge in everyone else.

Then, when I go to the house of worship the heavens seem to open and my purpose is once again clear and very present. I am called to worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness….but what is that exactly? Don’t answer that! It may be very different for you than it is for me. And stop trying to control and direct how I worship Him! Stop telling me how to give God the glory due His name!

The joy I feel in serving the Lord is just what I long for; it is my purpose to worship and glorify Him in all things and I feel it so strongly when I am serving in His house. I am replenished, reassured, and revitalized in my service to God. His love fills me and spills out so much more to those closet to me. Knowing I am called to serve brings meaning that affects all that I do in the natural world. My love is made more perfect and my heart is more transparent. My home is more pleasant and my sleep is so much sweeter.

In my service to God; when I am actively engaged in the church, my obligations to my family become that much more important. When I feel His love, I love so much more perfectly; as perfect as one can in this fallen world. My dedication to the Lord is also a reflection of my dedication to my family because He calls me to a more perfect union. He pushes me to love more unselfishly and to be a kingdom example to my family and friends. Time spent with God and in service to Him is time spent learning to love more, to be more humble, patient, kind, sacrificial, and merciful.

Do you desire a more perfect friend, husband, or colleague? Leave me to love, serve, and worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness!